I’ve slowly come to a conclusion that I’m never going to have real friends, and especially not a ‘best’ friend, and to be perfectly honest I’ve learnt to live with that, but the one thing I do hope, is that I have a really nice and content family life, if I cant have that.. then I wont have anything.. just a job, a car, a house, maybe money.. and what would better be called.. acquaintances.
I really want to know who these 3 people are that you have had to refuse.. not so that I can say anything to them, just so that I can say nothing to them so that I wont look like a fool any longer..
If this family friend is Kirtsy, I’ve looked like a idiot to that girl long enough, not knowing who she is, or what she knows or even thinks.. but I don’t want to look like even more of a fool to any of my so-called-friends, especially if they are ones who I still see or talk to..
i frustrate myself how i get so confused, 1 minute i think 1 thing, and the next i think another, i forget how i feel and what im thinking, and its a bit scary
